My Life

its been three months now... and thursday is the closing ceremony already, which means the orientation period has ended.. yet, i still feel as if i entered the school yesterday, clueless, insecure... i really wish that my prayer will be answered... i really dont know who to tell this to anymore... because even i dont understand myself... i wanna quit, but can i? if so, is there anything suitable for me out there? is this really my path? will i finally enjoy teaching? or will i suffer? so many questions keep poppeing in my head, to the point that i almost give up... i just feel that i had enough of it... that i dont have what it takes to be a TEACHER!

it was fun to hang out with you...  though it was short, but this time i was able to make sweet memories with my family and friends....  although it will be heartbreaking to part with you, but i know, someday we will meet again.,. until that moment comes, i shall cherished the joy you've been giving me for the last 6 days......  so many things happened i.e.                    i went to the peak of Gunung Jerai with my best friend,                    going out with my siblings,                    my best friend went for surgery after coming down from that gunung,                    and me spending time in KMC for a day...  all that will be unforgettable experienced....  i shall braced the coming two months.....   for i know it will be filled with hardships, sorrow, mistakes and errors, but at the end, you. my lovely sweet blissfully holiday, shall returned to me.......  until then, sayonara~

Hohoho~ skang cuti sekolah... so apa lagi... joli sampai pagi la... hehehe... hari sabtu ahad balik Penang... dan la mkn Domino .... nyum2~ pastu kelmarin besday adikku yg pemalu tu... he's 21 already~ so we had a feast! KFC n Big Apple ... mkn macam ulaq sawa... sedap gilo~~~~ esok outing dgn Su n Ros... mkn McD n Secret Recipe maybe... huahuahua~ gila lah! asyik makaaaaaaaaaaaaaan ja..... nasi pun dah jadi 4 pinggan sehari sejak cuti kat umah ni.... hehehe... nasib ongkos ada.... kalau x, haru jugak... esok petang ada puding lagi... pergh, mmg gemok ah aku cuti sekolah ni.... maybe badan aku pun tau, kat Naka tu aku jarang mkn, so bila kat umah ja, otomatik dia increase speed and quantity... hehehe... I love u Myself~ u always know what best for me~ kikikiki.... so before this heavenly time ends, i shall enjoy my life to the fullest! Kanpai! Yam Seng! let's enjoy!

tapi hidup masih sebegitu rupa... aku masih stress.... masih belum jumpa kemanisan mengajar budak-budak sekolah.... masih rasa menyesal..... sampai bila??? aku mahu redha. aku mahu berusaha. aku x mahu berputus asa... kerana apabila aku jadi sebegitu rupa, aku x akan peduli akan akibatnya.... aku akan mula mengajar sambil lewa....  aku x mahu jadi manusia itu. TIDAK!  ALLAH, tolonglah jauhkan aku dari sifat malas, sifat berputus asa, sifat x mahu mencuba.... berikan aku kekuatan utuk mengahdapai segala ujian dan cabaran yg telah tertulis buatku....  semoga aku tabah. p/s: yang membuatkan aku masih bertahan, aku bukan keseorangan.....