My Life

semalam dpt berita, nama aku tersenarai untuk temuduga posting... alhamdulillah, aku gembira.. tp aku sgt takut...takut jd gagap masa interview, takut lupa nama menteri, takut semua lah! huhuhuh~ borang x isi lagi, dokumen2 x fotostat n sahkan lg... nak kena masak lg... haiz... mmg x dak moood lah!! mcm na ni?aku risau ni... nak duduk, berdiri, serba x kena suma... nasib baik peng'inetrview' sorg ja..(kot la coz kat borang, dia cuma reserve satu space tuk panel)... ntah betul ke dak ni... tp kalau betul at least lega la skit hati aku yg gemuruh ni.... pape pon, kena masak jgk... haiz~~~~~~~~

x guna punya org tua!! dia ingat dia tu sapa?? ad ka patut dia kata mak bapak aku tungui kayu!! setannnnnnnnn!!! helooo~ for ur information old mule!my mom acually solved the prob ok! just because u cant hear, u cant see, u bloody assumed that u r the one dat solved it! hah! go bang balls la old duck! u think u r the king in this house??? if it werent my dad, being a filial son, u wouldnt be able to do, eat watvere u like u know! god know where the hell u will be thrown at !! u should learned how to be grateful!!! not simply gossiping around talking bad about my family! claimed dat u r sick, but in front of my dad, shiver like an old turtle!! bloodyful old woman! u know how much misery u gave my mom! i pray to god , may u be burned in the 7th hell!!!!!!

baru nak menikmati hidup yg senang...adk aku br ja jd baik... aku bleh bereksperimen kat dapoq... just 3 solitary days... then she, dat bloody old bitch! started to make noise again... saying crap and bullshits, enough to make all of us scream our heads off!!! God!!! why can't i kill her????? our life would be easier without her... i do pity her.. sincerely.. when she is quiet, sick, and helpless looking... where our business remain as ours, not to be bothered by others.. but once she open her bitchy mouth, i cant stop myself from hating and cursing her!! cant she really see what's happening?? mom's getting grumpier, dad too... fights became common.. screaming is not surprising anymore... godhow i hate this life!!

the class today was extremely fun... in 4M of course... they performed for me.... chin kit and his amazing dance,... obama & minyang - remake of IP man.... beng yau with his robotic cute dance... ryan soon, huei hao, mark andrew with their bobeepbop dance... pingchuan singing my chinese song... and last, me, performing nobody in their class... seriously, i feel like killing myself... *pai seh!!!!! anyway, after this, i have no idea whether the future kids i have will be as fun as them... i will miss them... really... but with 2P, only some of them really care for me... so i just want to keep the nice memory with those who are nice to me only... but then, they're just form 2 kids... maybe sayiing goodbye doesnt meant anything for them.... ah....so much thing will be missed.... suddenly i feel my heart has a little hole already.... *sob sob.....

in three days, i'm officially off the hook of SFI... no more teaching, no more planning the lesson, no more writing the long winding lp ^_^ but then,... no more seeing my sweet students, no more hanging out with the GSTTs at canteen, no more listening to the students crapping, jumping around, doing all the things that tick me off... no more.... should i be sad? should i be happy? i am happy n yet sad... not to the point of crying, but there's something in my heart that wriggles uneasiness... still havent made up my mind whether teaching really suits me... but i will miss them.. despite their ignorance, their immoral attitude, their crap-talk, their ultimate laziness, their fun jokes, DEFINITELY i will miss all that!

yahoo!!! in three weeks i'm officially completed my practical... i know i'llbe missing them but i cant help myself to be happy for this hell months are over! anyway, i still have two weeks left to teach them and they're mood are on off... so i did get depress but thanks to suynn, i recover from the black hole... still, my heart is questioning whether this is my path... well, like miss dzeelfa said, just go with the flow... perhaps in future, i will find it interesting... but if not, i will quit and find other thing to do! hahaha~ ok need to go already... havent finish marking the students book... huhuhu..... all the best faezah!! the torture is going to be over!

its been two months already and hell of a week three observations in two days... the first day was hell as they become so angelic and the class became so dead...do i think i only manage to pass on the line... Dr. wants to see onmprovement so that night struggled with my emotional and physical tiredness (we go back from school at 5pm everyday coz got english week) to create an activity.. thank GOd she gave me some idea but worriness surrounded whether i'm gonna pass or failed the next day... and YAhoO! they are alive! so the class are noisy and she had fun with the boys acting~ I LOve You 4Merah!! as students of course... its saturday and yet have to go to school... damn! so tired... tomorrow only one miserable day to rest and i have to write tonnes of my students essay... *sigh.... gambatte faezah!!