My Life

just woke up from sleep..had a nightmare last night...damn! i entered the class early then when i wanted to start teaching, a lot of teachers enters... as i bring all my stuff in front, i forgot what to teach!! damn! then suddenly i realized, the materials i brought is for form 4, and i am in the form 2 class! i tell you man, that was scary!! i woke up and quickly i started to plan what to teach for the whole week already... huhuhu~ i think this whole month, i will be having more nightmares as the last week of march will be the time where Dr.jaya will visit us... ALLAH, PLease Give me Courage and calmness for me to face all the challenges!!

yay! first weekend... woke up at 7 but then sleep back and cant sleep that well after that... so decide to bath and wash all my clothes... fuh~ damn a lot! currently waiting for the machine to stop... hurm... a week has passed, and the coming week brings new adventure... thinking of doing literature for form 4 because it is one thing that i am confident with.. hehee... hopefully it will turned out well... for form 2, i am more confident because they are just so cute... exactly like my brother,.. oh how i miss him~ anyway,i will give my lesson plan a very good thought and will try to do my best this monday! Go Go FAe!!!!!!! I can do it!!

today is another shocking day for me... suynn and i went to observe Bro to teachand boy, the class is huge! and the students, are very talkative and i think some of them already hate me... huhu~ i really want to be friend with them but these are boys we're talking about... there's no such thing as being their friend coz you are jeopardizing your credibility and respect from them... i ended up introducing myself in a strict+scared way.... Bro will be staying in the class for a few times and that makes me even nervous... i really hope that i can gain their respect and most importantly, their co-operation... this evening we are having saringan for the coming sports day... it was fun! seeing them run and the teachers becoming more friendlier... i guess that they just want to see whether we are participating in the school events... even the GPK Hem talks to us! hahahaha~ at least that makes me a bit happy but still my hand trembles from the shocked i have today... tomorrow i will b

as we walk to the school, the students look at us with curious face... as we enter the school, they started to call us teacher... a bit shocking but still can be accepted... then it was assembly time... we were called to the stage adn been introduced to the whole school... a bit of unexpected but the GPK 1 was very diplomatic when introducing us... then we were given the classes and asked to look for the teachers... suynn's teacher was reluctant and uncooperative because she gave suynn freedom to teach whatever she liked and no materials or guidelines given.. thank god my teacher was very friendly and helpful... she even gave me the potato people's book, new lit. book, topics to cover and even advises on how to handle the students.... however, we still haven't met our form 4 teacher at the moment... so we spend the whole day exploring the school, getting to know the teachers and the students and wait for the time to end... 10 mins before the school ends, our teacher arrived

bangun ja tido tetiba terfikir nak pakai baju apa la, nak bawa apa la, nak p sekolah pukul berapa la, kalau masuk kelas, nak buat aktiviti apa la... pelik kan? x la excited sangat tapi x la kecut perut sangat... am i ok? what is wrong with me? i need anxiety at least a bit coz that what keeps me alert... and more intelligent.. in the sense that if i were to teach tomorrow, my brain would automatically come up with something instantly! the power of anxiety... but if tomorrow i go to school with the feeling i'm having now,,, i'm dead! coz right now i really feel blur and stupid.. i think i need chocolate~ ^_^

tu la... gatai sgt nak p belek lesson plan senior... skali terkejut terus headache... huhuhu... x ku sangka begitu susah nak mengajar english... dulu aku blajaq senang ja... huhuhu mati la aku... aku ni dah la kreatif, malas plak tu... ish2... harap2 lulus la praktikal kali ni... x mau repeat... xmau... tolong lah permudahkan pekerjaan aku ya ALLAH..... takut rasanya nak jejak kai masuk sekolah isnin ni... rasa macam nak mati...

yay!! dah sampai melaka~pkl 7 pagi dah tercangak kat melaka central... tunggu suynn...nasib baik ada suynn...kalo x, huhuhu...mmg mati la aku... thank u suyeon!!! lps tu ayh suynn bw p mkn, siap dapat angpau lagi... muahahaha~ kaya den... sampai ja umah sewa terus cuci, kemas apa yg patut... dapat angpau lagi dari mak eunice... shie shie~ ni yg best kwn multi racial... mcm2 dapat... skang tgh melayan perasaan sensorg coz, fazp jln2 around melaka...esok br blk, eunice plak blk pahang, yee sang celeb, ahad br blk... suynn p buat spek, ptg ni br jumpa blk... hehehe... mlm ni tdo cuma bertemankan miss eng (our landlady) ja... alahai nasib jd perantau yg jauh... tp xpe... at least boleh mengajar aku jd lebih tabah! this is my fight! and i will give my best shot to win it!! gambatte faezah!!!

i will be in the bus on the way to Melaka .... gosh, how time flies~ it feels like only yesterday i entered UPM and now I'm already started to fly away from it... my English is rusty and yet i am going to teach in Eng ed school... omo ! but then again, half part of me despise the practical but the other half welcomes it... because its been years I've only listen to stories about school, how the students behave, funny thing they did, the teachers' behaviour... i want to be in the environment... i want to feel what my mother has been feeling all these years, being a teacher... i want to know whether this is the right path for me... its never too late to go back if somehow one day i discover teaching is not my passion... but for now, i would really like if the question of my destiny can be answered....

haiyo... a news, shocking news today... it is a happy news.. but yet there's something hurtful when i got to know about it... i'm suppose to be happy but why am i sad? i'm sorry gurl... i know i am bad, coz u r my friend... please forgive me bcoz i cant be sincere 100%, but i do know that i always pray for your happiness... maybe in few years time, i will be able to look at you and him without feeling bad or sad but instead pure happiness~

this would be my first post created just for the sake of expressing my feelings about my life as a teacher-in-making process... in a week from now, i'll be standing in fornt of my first ever students, and yet i still cant figure whaht am i going there.. my feeling at this moment is unknown, chaotic, full with questions left hanging without answers,... Gosh, i really hope that everything will ends well, for me and my fellow friends... *the pain of not knowing is unbearable*