26 September~ dua hari lepas...

hari ni genap 5 tahun arwah mak su aku meniggal dunia... aku ingat lagi hari tu, br blk berlari dr admin, isi borang tukar bilik kat matrik dulu... sedih dia, hanya ALLAH ja yg tau... skang sunyi bebenor hidup,... aku syak tok aku jd mcm tu sbb x leh terima hakikat kot sampai skang, yg arwah dah betul2 x dak.... Al-Fatihah... semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dari-Nya.. Amin,,...

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dua tiga hari ni, otak aku bengong, hati aku x tenteram... jiwa pon kacau bilau lah.. ni semua sbb mama... tetiba ja call aku suh trn bilik dia,pastu bg duit rm1000, suh pas kat adik aku, kata sorry for not being fair all this long... serius aku x paham apa yg dia ckp pon time tu... yg aku dgq dgn jelas, " mama takut nanti mama halau dia"... halau mamat??? just because dia selalu kata nak bunuh ismat? i dont think its true, its just a figure of speech.. but no!! she insist on it n i have to be the third party, have to give the money to him... i didnt blame him though... i blame my younger bro.. its true that we all got wat we want... but he is obviously get want we dont! things that were forbidden to us those days, are allowed for him! imean how bloody lucky is that???! i too sometimes blame him, having this dissatisfied feeling... but as a woman,we dont hate that much as long as that person is related by blood... but man, if they really hate someone, that wont bother to hide it... i pity him man... poor him, had to go back to his college with this kind of feeling.... n he didnt even take the money..... i have no idea how to react to this knid of situation anymore... its tiring... i think she skip her EPO again.... gosh, her mood swing is killing me softly~

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